5 more things I have learned about the Philippines so far

  • 1. Filipino techno is awful

The Philippines have their own brand of techno music, it’s called budots and (sorry Filipinos, don’t mind the opinion of a sad old Westerner) it’s just terrible. Basically a kind of happy hardcore, budots (a slang bisayan term for a jobless person, someone with way too much free time in their hands) originated in Davao city and is also a dance, pretty much like French tektonik was both a music and a dance style. Like tektonik also, budots was originally a street kids thing that got popular nationwide through Youtube channels. What can I say, this racket just drives me nuts (but not in a good way), I’m really way too ancient for this.

2. Filipinos are outlaws

Filipinos don’t care much about rules and regulations. You want to open a business, just open it. You want to build your house on that piece of land, just build it. You can always get the permits and authorization later. Of course, you might also not get them. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything will actually happen any time soon. Who knows. You want to drive but don’t have a driving licence? Who cares. Even professional van drivers don’t have theirs. Of course, don’t expect them to respect any traffic regulations. Like a friend told me, “I’ve never felt as free as in this country”. This freedom comes with a high risk price, but to us modern Europeans who have only ever known the opposite (anything that is not strictly forbidden is mandatory under severe financial penalty), it still seems totally worth it.

3. Pets are disposable commodities

To keep a puppy alive is a matter of luck – like one vet told me, all known dogs diseases flourish here, so natural selection is hardcore. If your puppy gets sick, the chances it will die are pretty high, and there is really not much you can actually do – react as quickly as possible (not so easy when the nearest vet is three hours away), and hope. Surprisingly, enough dogs make it through so that strays are becoming a bit of a problem, though.

Same goes with cats. I got lucky with mine, she’s in perfect shape without any vaccination, but I’ve lost counts of all the kitten I have seen just vanish overnight. Very few actually get to adulthood.

4.  Calamansi make everything better

Filipino hold a deep belief that the juice of calamansi, a local variety of small, green lemons, goes with everything. And that means E. VE. RY. THING. Their credo is that anything that can be eaten or drunk is significantly improved by the addition of calamansi juice.

5. Macaroni are dessert

Just like they serve a type of sweetened red sausages on sticks together with marshmallows as candies for kids parties, Filipinos consider macaroni are best with sugar, condensed milk, canned fruits… and cheese. Because at this point of confusion between sweet and salty, why the hell not.
Then there is also buko salad, with fresh coconut meat, condensed milk… and mayonnaise. Whatever.